Thursday, June 16, 2011


When I'm tired (like right now) and achy (like right now), the effort to think coherent thoughts seems about as futile as trying to make sense out of white noise.  Or trying to hear a whisper in an engine room.  Or trying to understand a completely foreign language.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Dream of a Miracle Cure

I had a weird dream this morning.  What's new, right?  Actually, this was one of the kind that feel so real... in fact, was notable for being markedly less weird than my usual dreams.

There was this man - dark hair, charismatic, looked like a handsome actor who usually plays the successful, driven businessman who turns out to be the bad guy.  He wasn't a bad guy here, but did have a forceful personality.

So this guy, this dark haired, charismatic guy... he came up with an amazing, almost "miracle cure" kind of thing.  The primary ingredient was whipped egg whites.  Or maybe it was a derivative of whipped egg whites.  Anyway, this stuff could completely erase scars and wrinkles, but it also cured things like... I don't know, cancer, pancreatitis and kidney disease.  Older people were especially benefiting from complete and total health.  So I guess it addressed arthritis, osteoporosis and heart disease.

The cures were pretty much instantaneous and lasting.  The man made a big deal of it, like at a religious revival, where he would call people up to the stage one at a time, ask them what their problems were, and apply this miracle egg-white stuff in different ways, depending on what was wrong.  Everyone - everyone - was cured, instantly and completely.  Then he would have fun with them, fixing little things like those crow's feet they disliked.

The drawback was that this stuff interacted badly with a few kinds of medications.  People who wanted to be cured by it had to be off these medications.  Nothing unusual there, pharmaceutically speaking (is that even a word?).  Except in the case of the allergy medicine Zyrtec.  If a person had ever taken Zyrtec, even once, they were no longer a candidate for this egg-white treatment.

Having had seasonal allergies since childhood, there was a short time I did take Zyrtec in real life.  (It worked okay for about a month or so, then lost effectiveness.)

In my dream, I was talking with a couple of old ladies about what they wanted to have cured and trying to decide whether to lie about the Zyrtec in my own past.

In the dream, people did often lie in order to receive treatment.  This infuriated the dark-haired man because, while sometimes the treatment worked anyway, there was a measurable chance of negative interactions and even death.  He was angry not only because it made him and his product look bad, but more to the point, he felt powerless to help the people who had lied.

I woke up, and, as dreams sometimes do, it had felt so real.  It seemed important.  Maybe sometime soon, a biologist or chemical engineer somewhere will read this and think to himself, "Egg whites... cetirizine hydrochloride... EUREKA!"  Who knows?

In the meantime, if you're suffering from seasonal allergies, there's Alfalfa Complex from Shaklee, made primarily from - you guessed it - alfalfa, with a litte bit of spearmint.  Rich in protein, calcium, minerals, and vitamins A, B, C, D, E and K, alfalfa can be helpful in various illnesses and ailments including:

  • Anemia
  • Diabetes
  • Indigestion and bladder disorders
  • Menopause
  • Poor lactation
  • High blood pressure
  • Intestinal ulcers
  • Gastritis
  • Asthma
  • Eczema
  • Constipation
  • Body and breath odor
  • Infections
  • Burns
  • Athletes foot
  • Cancer
  • Urinary tract problems
  • Atherosclerosis
  • Nosebleeds
  • Osteoporosis
Check it out.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

What Do You Wish You Were Doing Today?

I was reading Travel + Leisure Magazine today on my break at work and found myself idly thinking, "I'd like to be there right now," regarding some pretty picture of a hotel.

Then I thought, "No.  If I am to wish, I want it to be really good.  Today, I wish I were..."

Today, I wish I were doing something really comfortable

Like getting a head-to-toe massage in a beach-side cabana with the warm but refreshing breeze feathering across my skin.  With a drink?  No, not an alcoholic one, not today.  Today, it's cold and fruity, sweet and tart, and entirely healthful.  Today, there are steel drums playing in the distance, so that sometimes I hear them on the breeze, and sometimes I hear the waves.  I smell the salt air, the sun-warm sand.  I feel the tension being worked from each limb, my neck, my back, my feet.

This, this is what I wish I were doing today.

What do you wish you were doing today?

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mothers Day

So, a satisfied customer was leaving our store - a great guy, mid-forties, in a wheelchair, frequent customer - and on his way out, gave my manager and me a jaunty wave and wished us, "Happy Mothers Day!"

"You, too!" we chorused happily.

Durr.  General laughter.  "Erm, um, what do you say... THANK YOU!"

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

May the fourth!

... be with you.

Yes, I'm a geek.  Forgot to say it earlier.  Happy Star Wars day.  Have fun!


Today at work, I tried the Squirrel nuts mentioned in yesterday's blog - the Truffle flavor.  We're talking actual mushroomy truffles, rather than the chocolate kind - though if you're into chocolate truffles, Williams-Sonoma sells an awesome confection that looks like a malted milk "robin's egg," but tastes like a little bite of chocolate heaven.  Those are only available at Easter, so you'll have to wait till next year for more; sorry.  But the wait is worth it.  Until then, Godiva will have to do.  ;)

Anyway, the truffle flavored almonds?  You should hear the moans of pleasure when people try these beauties!  Mysterious, dark and woodsy, they taste of real truffles.  If you've never tried truffles, there's nothing quite like them.  I think they're as rich as a good oyster, but vegetarian, and honestly worth the moaning they precipitate.

If you're stumped (haha, no squirrel pun intended) for a good gift idea, these are unusual and delicious, packaged in a delightfully chic black-and-gold canister, appropriate for men as well as ladies.  An awesome "hostess" gift, one they'll remember you for! 

Also, I tried two Tishbi jellies.  One was a red wine (I think cabernet) and the other a white (I think chardonnay) jelly.  Oh, my goodness!  The red tasted like wine, not sweet, or sugary, or syrupy.  All the flavors of a good red, but without a bite-y, tannin-ey taste.  I could eat it right out of the jar all day long.  This jelly would be excellent on buttered toast, possibly with tea to drink.  I think it would also rock a good red meat, either glazed in the oven with it, or spread on a cold leftover meat sandwich the next day.  That's good eatin'.

The white wine jelly was far more delicate and sweeter.  You could also use this on toast, but I would go with white toast rather than a hearty whole grain, and one of the milder teas to drink.  Not sure how or if I would use this in cooking, though I'm sure there are plenty of delicious combinations just waiting to be discovered.

Both jellies and the nuts can be found at the Annapolis, Maryland Williams-Sonoma.  They haven't appeared on Williams-Sonoma online, but that may just be a matter of time.  If you stop by our store, give me a holler!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

At Work Today

We were receiving cartons of product in the stockroom today.  Several new products arrived, including a variety of flavored nuts from the "Squirrel Brand" company.  We love it when new stuff arrives.

So my manager says in innocent glee, "Oh, Squirrel nuts!  I'd like to see those!"

I enjoy the people I work with.